May 2011
In May of 2011, another temporal disappointment was looming. My granddaughter was graduating college in KS and then my daughter and the family were going to move back to Texas after being gone for 16 years. And, where was I going to be? At home still under siege from shingles. Heavenly Father? Are you serious?
Yes, He was. And, He was tenderly showing me Himself - truths about what He knows to be most important in a believer's life.
Ahhh, yes! this was beginning to be an amazing journey.
A few (of many) things recorded in my Thanksgiving Journal during May 2011:
~ giving me a new outlook
~ "He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus." 1 Corinthians 1.30
~ some precious FB messages from family
~ Isaiah 58.8
~ sent home from work to begin working VPN most of the time
~ lots of pain
~ my soul feels cast down
~ He took me to Psalm 42 (5/13/11)
(This Psalm would become very dear to me in coming months - read it and meditate on it! so rich and encouraging and hopeful)
~ family has arrived back in Texas - safe travel - all are well!
~ family came to my house - celebrated all our May birthdays! Precious day!
~ more and more revelations about my spiritual needs
~ Christ's blood shed for me
~ phone calls from dear friends - prayer
~ pain never ceases
~ joy in the pain
~ slept six hours last night!
~ struggled for the last few days - have I let my guard down?
~ I'm so weak
~ May 25 - Ps. 27.11 "Teach me Your way, O LORD, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies."
(This verse has become a daily prayer since 2011. The first phrase "teach me Your way, O LORD" was becoming more than just a phrase - that's serious business - for the LORD to "teach us His way." It changes everything. I'm learning to read Scripture in a deeper way.)
May slipped into June into July. The kids moved back home and I couldn't even go see them! Memorial Day family celebrations; July 4 family celebration - nope - not there. All that summer, the only times I went forth were to an acupuncturist - 13 treatments. She had had great success with people in my condition. So, was this the answer? Maybe?
January 12, 2013:
Looking back at 2011 and reflecing on that time here in the beginning of 2013 is very therapeutic. I am able to see lessons learned, graces poured out, mercy received, prayers answered.
And it goes on. He is ever present. He is all-in-all.
In Ps. 42.11, I made a notation back in 2011. The verse:
"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God."
Beside that verse, I wrote in my Bible, "God knows and He is always good." That phrase has become a part of me. I have said it dozens and dozens of time on the past 20 months. When people want to lament that I'm still "the same," I find myself saying that phrase to them - and meaning it with all my heart. This was/is His providential plan for my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything!
More later, little blog . . .
Jayne
While it is sad for me to look back and think about how long this has been going on for you, it is great to read some of your thoughts and lessons that the Lord is teaching. And conversations with you help keep me focused on what the Lord is teaching me. :) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI've heard you say "God knows and He is always good," many times. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be that comfortable with my situations in life. Your joy in God is an inspiration. :)