In one of my devotional books ("My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers) I keep running across notations in the margins asking the same question? Why can't I maintain this or that? Why the same issues spread several years/decades apart? I began reading that book in the 70s. Then into the 80s there were notations. Then into the 90s there were similar notations. Apparently I'd lay that book aside for long periods and go to some other devotional book (Puritans, Charles Spurgeon, Sinclair Ferguson, etc.) All great books!
Now, in 2013, that little, kinda beat up, red Oswald Chamber's book is back in my devotional life. Some of the same questions come into my mind that I was asking in 1991.
Today, Friday, March 15, He gave me the answer. It was like a bolt literally out of Heaven - as powerful as the waterfall in the picture. I was dressing to go to work for a little while; I'll always remember where I was standing when He spoke to me so clearly.
Jayne, it's not about you "maintaining" - it's about you being abandoned to Jesus Christ - not for what you need from Him (which is everything - but that's not it) - not for what He can/has/will do for you - not for how you hope He answers serious prayers for you and your family - not for making you feel "spiritually tuned in" - not for cleaning you up as a sinner saved by grace - not for the graces He daily showers on you and yours - not for just being grateful for His choosing you - not for any ministry He may let you or direct you to do - not for any common sense, good, right, proper things in your life -
None of what I consider "good and right" things/actions/ideas/ministry/etc., etc., etc. are IT -
What it is, is:
A personal, abiding, quiet, intense relationship with Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit is the only lasting way to "maintain" that quiet, peaceful, joyful walk in this world.
He put me here for one reason and one reason only -
to give Him the glory for everything -
whatever happens -
the good and trials -
breathing in and out -
happy days -
sad days -
good health -
prayers answered yes and prayers answered no -
seeing everything as His sovereign hand moving -
It's time for me to stop trying to figure out why I keep going over
the same ground and let Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit
be all I need, all I want, and all I trust.
"Be still and know that I Am God."